10 Questions To Help You Deal With Problems

Here is a technique to release yourself from being stuck in a problem, and help you find its gift instead. Use the following list of questions and write the answers in your book of goals and dreams. You may find this method valuable for many issues now and in the future.

1. What is bothering me?

2. What are the effects of this issue on me—mentally, physically and emotionally?

3. What is the effect of the issue on those around me?

4. What does the issue cause me to do or not do?

5. What are the advantages of these effects, with respect to living my dream?

6. What are the disadvantages of these effects, with respect to living my dream?

7. How would life be different if the issue were gone?

8. Why do I need the issue?

9. What beliefs do I have that explain how this issue might have developed?

10. What are the payoffs for keeping the status quo regarding this issue?

Popularity: 40% [?]

Control Negative Thoughts By Using One Simple Exercise

You have the choice to control negativity and self-sabotaging behavior by creating positive beliefs and envisioning positive outcomes. Through a practice called “thought stopping,” you can change direction when you find yourself slipping into a negative thought pattern. Say to yourself, with a loud and firm inner voice: STOP! Once you’ve done this, it’s important to replace your previous thought with a more positive statement and image. Clearly acknowledge which statements cause you to feel pain or threat, and which statements allow you to feel success, joy and happiness.

When people unnecessarily stress themselves by thinking that they have no control over a controllable situation, they need to use their inner voice to shout out the word “STOP.” Then, change track and think about how the situation can be redirected.

Now, take this opportunity to practice “thought stopping.” What reoccurring thought causes you to feel negative, or some form of discomfort, pain, or threat? (Example: Taking risks makes me feel anxious.) Now write it down!

Next, with a loud and firm inner voice, shout out “STOP!” Again, “STOP!” Replace your negative feeling or thought with a positive statement. (Example: When I take risks I experience excitement, learn more about myself, and feel encouraged to risk again.)

When you attach specific positive words to positive feelings and experiences, you can recall positive feelings at will by using those words. Now apply the positive affirmation for yourself. Using your positive statement, attach it to feelings of success, joy, and happiness. For example, “When I challenge and encourage myself, I consistently move toward my goals with a success attitude, ‘I Can I Will.’ ”

Recite the statement to yourself several times. Each time, experience the positive feelings the statement generates. When you anchor positive words or statements to positive feelings, you can recall the positive feeling anytime you desire and create more positive outcomes, consistently.

Challenge yourself. Stop your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Practicing thought stopping on a continual basis allows you to eliminate negative thoughts to become more aware of your feelings of accomplishment, self-acceptance, and of positive choice and change. Your new, bright thoughts and feelings of pleasure, joy and happiness drive you toward your destination of success. Positive feelings and beliefs increase your self-worth and self-esteem, empowering you to take action.

Popularity: 32% [?]

Only planning and discipline can lead to goal achievement

There is a huge gulf between the setting of a goal and goal achievement. Most goals don’t proceed beyond the paper on which they have been written. A few that do fall midway. Very few travel the full distance.

If you want to achieve your goals then you need to keep the following ten points in mind:

1. You should have a burning desire to achieve your goal. Many a times we do things because of fear of failure or scolding. If this is what you are trying to do then you are destined to fail.

2. You must have faith in your capabilities. Nothing is impossible to achieve if you have the right attitude.

3. Written words have more power of coming true than spoken or imagined ones when it comes to goals. Be specific as to what you want to do and write down every goal, sub-goal and the way you are going to achieve them.

4. Write down all the benefits that will come your way once you achieve the goal. This is a great motivating factor, and will keep you moving forward.

5. List the skills that you need to achieve your goals. For instance, if you want to be a software engineer then you must know how to work with computers. Knowing where you stand today will help you plan your future steps.

6. Make a list of obstacles that you are likely to encounter. These may be shortage of finances, for instance. If that is so, then you must find ways to arrange the funds before the financial crisis actually hits you.

7. You must always set deadlines. These should be tough but achievable. If you fail to fulfill your task by the time allotted make changes and set another deadline. Don’t just stop working if a deadline to finish a sub-task is not met.

8. Make a list of people who can motivate you to reach your goal. Their support can mean a lot when you are under pressure.

9. Picture your goals as vividly as possible because then you know where you want to reach and make the extra efforts to reach there.

10. Don’t loose hope or give up. Failure will come but you have to take it in the right stride. That’s the only way to move forward.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Start Your Day Off Right With These 10 Motivating Affirmations

Just as other people’s words affect you, the words that you say to yourself also affect your attitude. Whether you feel negative or positive depends on the input that you get, including the input you get from yourself. You can’t change from a negative mindset to a positive mindset without changing from negative talking to positive talking. To do that, you must change the input from negative to positive.

Using positive affirmations is a proven technique that works miracles in many lives. Ideally, you should look yourself in the eye as you make these positive affirmations. Don’t be shy; go ahead and get started! Repeat the following statements to yourself every morning to get your day and week off to a great start:

“I clearly understand that failure is an event, not a person; that yesterday really did end last night; and that success isn’t final and failure isn’t fatal because I only fail if I quit.”

“I have the courage to admit a mistake and to say that I was wrong. I have the courage to ask for help and the courage to say “I don’t know.” I have the courage to continually strive to be the person that I am capable of becoming.”

“I have vision in my life, which means that I see not only with my eyes but also with my heart.”

“I am successful because I believe that to be truly educated, I must be mentored - either in business or in my personal life, by reading or by association - by superior minds with greater skills and mature spirits.”

“I discipline myself to do the things that I need to do when I need to do them, because I know that doing them will enable me someday to do the things I want to do when I want to do them.”

“I clearly understand that if I develop yearning power and apply learning power, I will increase my earning power.”

“I am successful because I don’t confuse activity with accomplishment. I know that I can’t make it in life as a wandering generality, so I am a meaningful specific.”

“I am like an eraser. I recognize my mistakes, I learn from my mistakes, and then I erase those mistakes from my memory.”

“I move forward in my life every day, even if it’s only a tiny step, because I know that great things are accomplished with tiny moves, but nothing is accomplished by standing still.”

“Today I will seriously look for the good in every situation and find something about which to praise every person who works with me. Today I will be friendly to the people I work with and will treat them as though they were completely responsible for my career. Today I will
express gratitude for the career that I have and the society of which I am a part, and specifically for my family and friends. I will also express gratitude for the fact that my career is rewarding in ways that go far beyond financial remuneration.”

Popularity: 16% [?]

How Negative Self-Talk Can Be A Dream Killer

Monitor your language. Listen to the way you respond to questions and situations. Make a conscious effort to develop a positive charge. You will find that people respond more eagerly to you.

Do you know people who tell you their whole life story even if you don’t ask? Well I hitched a ride with a friend the other day and as soon as we got into the car, she launched into a negative conversation about how much she hated her job. She despises it. I know. She told me and told me and told me and told me! Well, she was giving me a ride, and I couldn’t very well tell her to be quiet in her own car. So I listened.

She went on and on about this job and how bad it was, and finally I interrupted. “If it’s that stressful and if it is causing you that much pain, why don’t you just quit and do something else?” She replied by saying something that put her in the chorus line with a lot of other people going nowhere in their lives. “I would, but …”

Sound familiar? It did to me, so I began testing a theory on other people. I went around for several days asking people what they were doing for a living and if it was their passion in life to do that. If they said their work was not their passion, I asked what their real passion was and why they were not doing it. Invariably, they would reply, “Oh, I would, but . . .”

The “buts” just kept coming up. How many times have you heard one of those words or phrases used as an excuse? How many times have you heard them come out of your own mouth? Too often, we repeat negatively charged words as if we are in a trance, and, in a sense, when we use them we are sleepwalking through life. We seem to be instinctively adept at finding excuses for canceling our own dreams. I think “but” and words like it are dream killers. I think many of us would accomplish more in our lives if we put “but” and his family to rest and plunged into life.

“But” is a crutch; it is an excuse for procrastinators and those of us who lack the courage to live our dreams. It allows us to validate our inaction. When hard times hit, we need to look for reasons to move forward, not for reasons to idle through life.

When you don’t move on life, life moves on you. It is important for you to learn to monitor your language because by listening to yourself and changing your language, you can change your attitude from negative to positive.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Establish New Perceptions For A Better Attitude

Understanding and integrating your self-image is a powerful way to overcome any barrier to growth or change. Your “will” to unify and integrate your self-image and personality depends on the process of individuation. Individuation is a process in which the person moves away from environmental support to self-support. The person becomes self-sufficient, determining his or her own way, rather than depending solely on others for support.

Individuated people are self-actualized and live in the present, accepting life for what it is, right now. As an individuated person, you’re also influenced by your courage and willingness to change - the courage to accept yourself for who you are, and the willingness to change and become authentic and self-responsible. When you respect and trust yourself, you become fully responsible for your decisions and your life.

The process of individuation also helps you listen to your innermost needs. It helps you to become totally self-accepting and recognize yourself as a person with conviction. This conviction, or strong belief you have about yourself, means that you count and exist as a unique part of the human race. Once you commit yourself to higher achievement, you act and speak in a more congruent way, and you’re encouraged to take more risks. When you make a commitment to achieve more financially, emotionally, mentally and physically, or find personal meaning in your life, you become more enthusiastic. Your ability to concentrate also increases.

When you establish new perceptions about who you are, and what you want to achieve, you become more sensitive to your environment and to others. Becoming aware of your authentic self-image facilitates a dynamic, creative process through which you affirm yourself and give new meaning to your relationships with others.

Becoming aware of your authentic self-image awakens you to a new attitude. Your new attitude and positive self-image promotes changes in your habitual, routine way of doing things. Creating empowering beliefs and behaviors redefines your self-image, encouraging you to take positive action. Become aware of your self-determination and self-confidence that are always available within you. These qualities increase your ability to communicate more effectively and build relationships based on a concern for the growth, protection, and welfare of others. As you become more self-determined, you become more motivated to contribute to the welfare of others. You recognize ability and like to be recognized for your ability. Developing self-reliance and self-confidence, while actively and assertively helping others, is the mark of a truly courageous person.

Your success self-image consists of healthy feelings and behaviors needed to achieve your desires. Empowering beliefs and actions will keep you on the road to continual self improvement. Awaken the happiness and joy that exist within you.

Popularity: 27% [?]

3 Ways To Turn Negative Situations Into Positive Ones

1. When you talk, listen to yourself for the “buts,” “could ofs” and “gonnas” in your own conversations and those of people around you. Zap those negatively charged words and phrases from your own vocabulary.

2. Create scenarios in which you may have reacted negatively in the past and envision yourself responding in the future with a positive charge. For example: Your boss hands back a report saying it is unsatisfactory and telling you to redo it. In the past you might have made excuses and blamed co-workers or conditions. Now you respond by thanking the boss for the opportunity to improve it.

3. Consider a problem or difficult situation in your life. Is it something that you can change? Or is it something you have no control of? Positively charged people learn to attack those problems that they can change and to live with those that they cannot - thereby robbing the problem of its power over them. If you cannot change the problem, change the way you view it. Example: “My employer is going to lay me off for three weeks.” Positive response: “I can spend the time seriously looking for a better, more secure job.”

Popularity: 14% [?]

Motivation and goal setting: Two sides of the same coin

Imagine a child standing on a diving board four feet high and asking the question: “Should I jump?” This is what motivation or the lack of it can do. Motivation and goal setting are the two sides of the same coin. Without motivation you can neither set a goal nor achieve it. Like the child on the diving board, you will stay undecided.

So how should you motivate yourself? More than that, how should you stay motivated to achieve the goal? First, you need to evaluate yourself, your values, your strengths, your weaknesses, your achievements, your desires etc. Only then you should set your goals.

You also need to judge the quality and depth of your motivation. This is quite important, because it is directly related to your commitment. There are times when your heart is not in your work. Such distraction can affect your work. So, slow down and think what you really want to do at that moment. Clarity of thoughts can help you move forward.

You also need to make an accurate and honest assessment of your abilities. This will prevent you from under-estimating or over-estimating your skills and guide you to set attainable and appropriate goals.

Another way of setting realistic goals is to analyze the short and long term objectives, keeping in mind your beliefs, values and strengths. Remember that goals are flexible; they can change according to circumstances. They also need to be measurable. You must keep these points in mind while setting your goals.

Your personal circumstances are equally important. For instance, you may want to be a pilot but can’t become one because your eyesight is not good enough. However, this should not discourage you. You should reassess your goals, and motivate yourself to set a fresh goal.

You will surely need to cross several hurdles, some planned, but most unplanned. You cannot overcome these hurdles without sufficient motivation. Make sure that you plan for these hurdles at the time of setting your goals.

Popularity: 19% [?]

3 ways to instantly build self confidence

Would you like to feel better about yourself? Do you need to find simple ways of building your self esteem so that you can make more money, look and feel better physically, and have better communication with other people? Below we have three simple techniques that have been proven to help build self confidence.

1. Talk to yourself. All of us have a running monologue constantly running in our heads, whether we realize it or not. Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off immediate dialog in our thoughts. And if we are not careful, this monologue can be filled with many negative messages that are received from television, radio, advertisements, newspapers, and overhearing other people talk to each other.

Negative thoughts literally deplete our mind and body of energy and block the flow of attracting self confidence and self esteem into our lives. Take control of this by using your thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

For example, one of my favorite things to say to myself is “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself”. Now before you think it is cheesy, just try it. I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud “I like myself!” 50 times, it will be impossible to keep from smiling.

2. Be at your best. You will be shocked at just how much more confidence you will have just be looking your best. It just plain feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment. So what if it Saturday? Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair! A hairdresser once told me “Everyday is show time!”

Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing. Say “thank you” to yourself to everything you see, all whom you meet, and each smile that you receive.

3. Fix your posture: How you stand definitely sends out a message to the world, and in turn, you will feel what message internally. There is even scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Slouching produces a down-low mood. Standing tall and upright will actually life your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud. Oh, and a smile won’t hurt!

Popularity: 20% [?]

Goal setting is only the first step

Goal setting is more than writing your goals on a sheet of paper. It is a trigger for you to plan, toil, persevere and achieve your goals. It will work if your goals are realistic, and your desires genuine. Otherwise, it will be nothing more than mere words on a sheet of paper.

Goals have to be real, not just “great sounding”. Many a times it feels good to let the world know of your dreams and aspirations. But the question is: Are you really made for it? When setting goals it is important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your background and abilities.

There are six areas where you need to set goals. These are: family, finances, career, health, education and spiritual needs. All these goals are interlinked, though each is a goal in itself and needs independent planning.

The best way to set goals is to write them down because they act as a constant reminder of where you are and where you want to be. However, it makes sense to review these goals frequently, and make necessary modifications without losing track of your ultimate goal. This does not mean you have failed but that you understand your true potential.

All goals must be specific. Instead of setting a goal of finding a better job, try and define what a better job means to you. Is it higher income or is it more power and satisfaction? Ideally, you must list two or three possibilities. The more information you put down, the clearer is the final outcome.

There is no harm in dreaming big, provided that the big is achievable given your present circumstances. Also, the goals should be set in a positive frame of mind. They must exude optimism and confidence. You must work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind.

You must remember that setting goals amounts to taking position at the start line. You now have to run with others to achieve them.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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