Does love take work?

There is a natural phenomenon that occurs when we first fall in love. We are happy, vibrant, and confident. Nobody needs to be told how to be happy when falling in love. This kind of happiness just comes naturally when we are discovering another person in life. It is one of the blessings of finding that unique human chemistry within somebody else. Falling in love gives you a freeing sense of being “ok”, just the way you are.

Falling in love is the easy part, it happens naturally. On the other hand, staying in love is a lot more difficult. There are many people that might argue that the best we can hope for over the long haul is a quiet kind of loving that is full of care and tenderness, but without harsh negativity and arguing, that at worst may end in disenchantment. Even couples who are very happy today with their relationships often feel anxiety over the future. Just the divorce statistics alone is enough to make us feel like love may go sour.

Part of the problem is that what worked for our parents, or rather what they thought worked for them, will not necessary work for us today. When you search around for couples who seem to be growing in a positive direction with their relationship, those that you want to emulate, there aren’t very many of these models available. So what should we do, should be just be happy for what we can get on the go, even if we lose it, or is it possible to find love and stay in love?

Personally I believe in relationships that last over time. Yes, it is extremely hard at to remain intimate with another man or woman for years on end, while keeping up the passion, and without having the desire for that initial newly discovered joy of excitement. Being a romantic person myself, I believe it can work, but on the other hand, it takes lots of work to keep a relationship going with the same vibrancy.

Do not confuse the word “work” with anything negative. It just means that to keep the magic going for the long haul, certain choices have to be made to stay close and have fun. Most couples engage in various forms of spontaneous play. I’m not referring to activities like tennis, bowling, or board games, rather, I’m talking about joking with each other, discussing fantasies, role playing, mock fighting, and private pet names to for you and your partner to call each other.

Popularity: 27% [?]

Setting Your Goals Should Not Be Complicated

Possibly the trickiest part of getting what you want in life is just figuring out what you really want! And yet it is certainly the most important part of all. Remember that setting goals does not mean that you are stuck with those goals. You can change them as often as you want to and feel that it’s necessary.

Remember also that setting goals does not mean that you have to pursue them through effort, striving, or struggling. It does not mean that you have to become emotionally addicted to achieving them. On the contrary, setting goals can help you flow through life more easily, effortlessly, and pleasurably. The nature of life is movement and creativity, and goals give you a clear focus and direction in which to channel your natural creative energy, thereby helping you to outflow and contribute to the world, which enhances your feeling of well-being and satisfaction in life. Goals are there to help you and support you in your true purpose.

Goals can be made in the spirit that life is an enjoyable game to be played, and one that can be deeply rewarding. They are not to be taken too heavily or seriously. At the same time, you must give them enough weight and importance so they are of real value to you.

It’s great to write your goals in the form of affirmations, as if they have already been achieved. This helps to achieve a clearer, stronger effect. In writing your goals, be sure to put down things that are real and meaningful to you, things that you actually want, not what you think you should want. No one else need ever see your goals unless you want him or her to, and this process requires that you be totally honest with yourself.

You may find that the very process of choosing goals brings up a certain amount of emotional resistance in you. You might experience this in various different ways, such as feeling depressed, hopeless, or overwhelmed at the thought of trying to set goals. Or you might feel the desire to distract yourself by eating, sleeping, or other activities. These emotional reactions (if you should have them) are clues to the ways in which you avoid getting what you want in life. It’s important to go ahead and experience these feelings and reactions, to go through them, and proceed with the process. Once you get into it you will find it of value. Then again, you may thoroughly enjoy the whole process and find it very expansive, fun, and enlightening. And you should! Just don’t make the choosing of goals too complicated.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Control Negative Thoughts By Using One Simple Exercise

You have the choice to control negativity and self-sabotaging behavior by creating positive beliefs and envisioning positive outcomes. Through a practice called “thought stopping,” you can change direction when you find yourself slipping into a negative thought pattern. Say to yourself, with a loud and firm inner voice: STOP! Once you’ve done this, it’s important to replace your previous thought with a more positive statement and image. Clearly acknowledge which statements cause you to feel pain or threat, and which statements allow you to feel success, joy and happiness.

When people unnecessarily stress themselves by thinking that they have no control over a controllable situation, they need to use their inner voice to shout out the word “STOP.” Then, change track and think about how the situation can be redirected.

Now, take this opportunity to practice “thought stopping.” What reoccurring thought causes you to feel negative, or some form of discomfort, pain, or threat? (Example: Taking risks makes me feel anxious.) Now write it down!

Next, with a loud and firm inner voice, shout out “STOP!” Again, “STOP!” Replace your negative feeling or thought with a positive statement. (Example: When I take risks I experience excitement, learn more about myself, and feel encouraged to risk again.)

When you attach specific positive words to positive feelings and experiences, you can recall positive feelings at will by using those words. Now apply the positive affirmation for yourself. Using your positive statement, attach it to feelings of success, joy, and happiness. For example, “When I challenge and encourage myself, I consistently move toward my goals with a success attitude, ‘I Can I Will.’ ”

Recite the statement to yourself several times. Each time, experience the positive feelings the statement generates. When you anchor positive words or statements to positive feelings, you can recall the positive feeling anytime you desire and create more positive outcomes, consistently.

Challenge yourself. Stop your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Practicing thought stopping on a continual basis allows you to eliminate negative thoughts to become more aware of your feelings of accomplishment, self-acceptance, and of positive choice and change. Your new, bright thoughts and feelings of pleasure, joy and happiness drive you toward your destination of success. Positive feelings and beliefs increase your self-worth and self-esteem, empowering you to take action.

Popularity: 32% [?]

It’s not what you become, but what you don’t become that will hurt most in the end

This article is designed to help you open your eyes to choose whether the current career path you are on in life is one that you are making out of choice, or one that you are traveling down out of blind social conditioning and lack of hope in doing what you dream about.

Given the choice between pursuing a highly desired cherished dream and continuing a life of quiet desperation, most people unconsciously choose for the life of quiet desperation. Are you one of them? Do you tolerate non-stop abusive bosses, lousy working conditions, and extremely boring dead-end jobs?

Sadly, most people opt for this grindstone-existence because it takes a lot of risk and facing of the unknown to take control of creating your own income by becoming self employed or seeking a more fulfilling career. There is no security, you have nothing to fall back on, and if things go wrong there is no one to blame but yourself.

It sounds terrible doesn’t it? Well don’t be fooled. Of course your boss and your managers all want you to think this negative so that you will stay working for them. And your family and friends usually do not know any better either so they will tell you the same things in order to keep you “safe and secure”.

The truth is that there is little security in staying in the same dead end job all of your life. Sadly, many people who come to end of their lives on their death beds reflect upon their lives with deep sorrow and not having followed their career dreams is usually their biggest regret.

What makes the situation even more difficult is the fact that throughout all of our lives our family and close friends seem to always be there to let us know that the “safest” path is one of security, working for someone else. They tell us that we should not risk our time and money venturing into creating our own businesses, goals, or risk-taking ventures. But ironically, these very same people are feeling disappointed that they do not possess the courage to take control of life and steer their own destiny.

If you are not currently pursuing your career dreams, regardless of the excuses you can come up with, then you are setting yourself up for the same disappointments and regrets that many people experience later in life. In other words, it is not what you become, but what you don’t become that will hurt you most in the end.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Cells & Memory: A Science Lesson

The memories that concern us in everyday life, whether they are explicit memories or implicit memories, are far removed from nerve cells, just as our everyday world of food, cars, and people is far removed from the atoms that make them up.

Activity is electrical, nerve cells communicate with each other by releasing chemicals. This chemical release is a heritage of our past. When our ancestors were all just single cells, the only way to communicate was by releasing chemicals into primordial oceans. Later, as collections of multiple cells organized into primitive animals, the easiest way for cells to get messages across to one another was still to put out chemicals into the fluid that bathed them all.

When nerve cells developed, it appears that they adopted this existing transmission system for their own use. In some cases, these chemicals have retained some of the functions that they once had. In others, the functions have been modified beyond recognition. For example, the chemical people commonly know as adrenaline is actually a neurotransmitter as well. But it can get released into the blood when a special gland, the adrenal gland, gets stimulated. Adrenaline signals all the cells of the body to get ready for an emergency. It forces sugar into muscle cells, and slows down the digestive system. But adrenaline also operates deep within the brain, in the connections between some sets of nerve cells.

Memory at the nerve cell level is thought to involve changes in the strengths of connections between nerve cells. These changes can be both increases and decreases in the strength of connections. Since neurotransmitters are the major Way nerve cells communicate from one to another, changes in the way neurotransmitters are released, and changes in tie way neurotransmitters are received or interpreted by the nerve cell at the other end, must clearly be important in the formation of memory.

However, because we are concerned with the memories that come into our conscious experience, it is important to place our current knowledge of “memory” at the nerve cell level in the proper context. The memories that we are conscious of are not discrete files or pages inside our heads. Instead, they are a product of the electrical activity of an enormous number of nerve cells and nerve cell endings.

Some of these nerve cells and nerve cell endings are probably clustered together, and we identify them as specific regions of the brain. Other nerve cells involved in what we feel is a single memory probably are scattered widely all over the brain. The firing of the nerve cells is also probably spread out over time, as well. A single nerve cell takes about one-thousandth of a second to fire. However, the memories we see with techniques such as direct electrical recording seem to occupy a period of time at least two hundred times longer than this.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Release Technique Abundance Course for Eliminating Negativity

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Popularity: 28% [?]

Do You Sacrifice Integrity For Short Term Financial Gains?

It has been often said that an honest person has no opportunity to become rich in the Western world. This is an untruth fabricated by uninspired, dishonest people. In fact, studies indicate that one of the most important factors for the success of self-made millionaires is their unwavering honesty in their business affairs. Moreover, many disadvantaged people acquire an impressive amount of wealth by working in respectable careers and displaying integrity in all their financial affairs. Personal integrity is essential to achieving prosperity and financial freedom. Prosperity-conscious people seldom compromise their integrity for money. When they do, it’s at a weak moment when they aren’t paying attention. They immediately get themselves back on the right track.

Lazy Achievers don’t sacrifice peace of mind and reputation to earn money in dubious ways. They don’t have to resort to dishonesty. Having confidence in their own abilities, they capitalize on some of the many opportunities available for making an honest and decent living. When questioned, every one of us would declare that we are honest; yet, each of us has at least a little bit of the crook in us. Everyone is dishonest at one time or another, simply because no one is perfect. Where we draw the line to put ourselves back on the right track determines how much integrity we have.

The best policy is to be as committed to honesty and integrity as we can possibly be, regardless of any opportunities we have to make easy money. Rationally, we may ask ourselves: What harm is there in taking a few moral liberties now and then so we can stiff some sucker for a few bucks? The answer? A great deal of harm may be done in due time.

First, the law of karma should keep us from dishonesty: what we do to others will eventually come back to us in some form or another. With this in mind, we should be committed to total honesty, even when it means our short term financial position could suffer. The need to be true to ourselves is also at issue. Values are only worth something when we act rigidly upon them and follow them at all times. This requires that we be as scrupulously honest with all people as we can be. The payoff is peace of mind and the satisfaction that we haven’t resorted to cheating or swindling to make money. Henry Miller observed, “What distinguishes the majority of men from the few is their inability to act according to their beliefs.” If your values comprise honesty, integrity, ethics, and decency, it’s best to live your life in this manner, regardless of how many of your friends and acquaintances show disrespect for these values.

From the occupational perspective, the best policy is never to get involved in a job, business activity, or other financial endeavor that depends upon a product of dubious value. This applies even if you think that you may be able to make a lot of money at the business. Giving someone the rough end of a business deal may seem like an easy way to pocket some quick cash. Selling just a bit of your soul for $10,000 today, however, will cost you much more later on.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Is Your Boss Stressing You Out?

There is nothing that makes work harder than it has to be than fighting with your boss. What is there to do if you and your boss or supervisor are not getting along and all you feel is tension and stress each day?

The power dynamic is against you, so whatever you do, you will have to take this unequal relationship between you and your superior into account. Consider the following steps to help aid you in relieving the tension and stress between you and your boss:

1. Phrase your discussion of the issues in terms of what is happening at work and how it is affecting the workplace and your performance. Do not stage a personal attack.

2. Listen attentively to your supervisor’s suggestions for remedies and discuss your reactions to them.

3. Accept criticism as good feedback and try to come up with ways you can improve your performance or avoid pitfalls in the future.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Only planning and discipline can lead to goal achievement

There is a huge gulf between the setting of a goal and goal achievement. Most goals don’t proceed beyond the paper on which they have been written. A few that do fall midway. Very few travel the full distance.

If you want to achieve your goals then you need to keep the following ten points in mind:

1. You should have a burning desire to achieve your goal. Many a times we do things because of fear of failure or scolding. If this is what you are trying to do then you are destined to fail.

2. You must have faith in your capabilities. Nothing is impossible to achieve if you have the right attitude.

3. Written words have more power of coming true than spoken or imagined ones when it comes to goals. Be specific as to what you want to do and write down every goal, sub-goal and the way you are going to achieve them.

4. Write down all the benefits that will come your way once you achieve the goal. This is a great motivating factor, and will keep you moving forward.

5. List the skills that you need to achieve your goals. For instance, if you want to be a software engineer then you must know how to work with computers. Knowing where you stand today will help you plan your future steps.

6. Make a list of obstacles that you are likely to encounter. These may be shortage of finances, for instance. If that is so, then you must find ways to arrange the funds before the financial crisis actually hits you.

7. You must always set deadlines. These should be tough but achievable. If you fail to fulfill your task by the time allotted make changes and set another deadline. Don’t just stop working if a deadline to finish a sub-task is not met.

8. Make a list of people who can motivate you to reach your goal. Their support can mean a lot when you are under pressure.

9. Picture your goals as vividly as possible because then you know where you want to reach and make the extra efforts to reach there.

10. Don’t loose hope or give up. Failure will come but you have to take it in the right stride. That’s the only way to move forward.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Flex and Release: A Proven Technique For Stress Relief

Are you looking for a simple way to start relieving stress? This article will give you a step-by-step relaxation technique that you can practice anywhere. To get the most out of this stress relieving technique, begin practicing in a quiet environment where you can give the exercise all of your focus and attention. Your goal is to gain proficiency and once you have become better at it, then you can use this technique regardless of where you are at.

Step 1: Start by sitting down in a very comfortable position. Your body should be supported at every angle, throughout all areas. Wear loose clothing and release any tight belts or buttons so that your muscles do not feel constricted. Your goal is to bring attention to your breathing. Breathe in slow and naturally.

Step 2: Now begin to mentally scan your body for tension, starting at the top of your head or at your feet, whichever you prefer. This is not a test, so do not worry if you cannot pinpoint any areas of stress at first.

Step 3: Now Begin the process of tensing and relaxing your muscles. Begin with your hands and forearms. Make a fist with one hand and squeeze. Hold for the count of five and then release your fist while saying to yourself “Relax.” Notice how comfortable the muscles of your hand and forearm feel as you release the tension in them.

Step 4: Move up to your upper arm (bicep) and notice whether you can feel any tension here. Flex your bicep and hold that for five seconds as well. Again, release your arm while saying to yourself “Relax.” Feel the sensations in your upper arms as they are relieved of tension.

Step 5: Continue these series of flexing and releasing throughout the muscle groups the arms and shoulders, then proceeding to the muscles of the head and scalp, with the the face and neck next, moving to the chest and abdomen area, and finally the legs and feet.

When you have gone through all of the muscle groups, remain at rest and try to feel the sensations of relaxation all over your body. Do not worry if some of your muscles being to tense up again. This tendency to store tension in your muscles is a habit that has been learned over a long period of time and it will take time for you to unlearn it.

Popularity: 24% [?]

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