The Connection of Stress and Control

How much control you have over a certain situation determines your ability to combat and survive stress. There was an interesting study that demanded tasks of concentration between two groups of workers. Both groups were exposed to very distracting background noises consisting of horns honking, machinery, and people talking loudly in unknown languages. One group had a button placed on a desk while the other group did not. The button was placed so that the group who was given that button could shut off the background noises at any time they wanted to.

Not surprisingly, the productivity of the group with the control button was consistent and extremely higher than the group without the control button.

What is more interesting about this experiment is that no one actually pushed the button. Just in the knowing that it was there was enough.

What the experiment had taught us was that it is very important to have some “control buttons” in our lives. The “control buttons” are a crucial factor in order to help us deal with the stresses around us. If we have very little sense of control over any certain situation, then we are truly vulnerable to stress. One good way to combat stress is by using a program called the Abundance Course, which teaches you to “release” stress, tension and resistance in any situation.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Improving Your Business Relationships By Becoming A “Super-Star”

In the business world, relationships are an integral part of success or failure. Most people don’t know that when Thomas Edison’s laboratory and factory burned down, he was 67 years old and carried no insurance. Before the ashes were cold, Henry Ford handed Edison a check for $750,000 with the words “no interest” written on it. He also included a note saying that if Edison needed more, he would have it.

Many people were surprised by Ford’s generosity, but one reason he gave Edison the money probably went back to an incident that took place many years earlier. Edison was working on an electric car and had built batteries that made it viable to a point. He heard that a young man named Henry Ford was working on a gasoline engine, so he went to see him and asked him many questions. Ford answered those questions thoroughly and carefully. At the end of the interview, Edison said to Ford, “Young man, I think you’re on to something. I encourage you to continue in your pursuits.” Later, Ford said that these words of encouragement from the most highly respected inventor in the United States meant a great deal to him. He obviously continued in his pursuits.

Business relationships play a major role in the security and productivity of every individual involved, as well as the growth and success of the company. I’m fascinated with the research done by Bell Laboratories, a high-tech company. These figures do not hold true for all companies, but the concept is true.

Bell Laboratories discovered that out of every 100 employees in a typical organization, approximately 5 of them are misplaced. They’re hard-working, intelligent, and cooperative, but for some reason they simply do not fit into the culture or the company mission. Of the remaining 95, approximately 88 are good, solid employees - honest, productive, dependable, loyal, and so on. The remaining 7 are superstars who are far more productive than the 88 good, solid workers on the payroll. Actually, they are eight times as productive, which is an incredible figure. Their value is dramatically higher because they not only know and love their jobs but also are constantly “on the grow.”

These seven superstar employees are team players and are a team building, unifying force, which increases company production tremendously. They get along well with other employees, have bought into the company’s mission, and are excited about what they do. Their value comes from the fact that they make an honest effort to know and understand the roles that others play in the company. These superstars take advantage of break time, lunchtime, and the early morning hours, as well as a few minutes after work, to acquire information and cement relationships with people above and around them, developing team spirit.

These superstars also make it a point to be available when someone comes to them seeking information or inquiring about techniques or procedures at which they excel. They patiently and cheerfully share information and, in the process, make the company more productive. As a result, the people they teach make more progress, qualify for promotions and raises, and enjoy a better reputation within the company. You truly can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Motivation and goal setting: Two sides of the same coin

Imagine a child standing on a diving board four feet high and asking the question: “Should I jump?” This is what motivation or the lack of it can do. Motivation and goal setting are the two sides of the same coin. Without motivation you can neither set a goal nor achieve it. Like the child on the diving board, you will stay undecided.

So how should you motivate yourself? More than that, how should you stay motivated to achieve the goal? First, you need to evaluate yourself, your values, your strengths, your weaknesses, your achievements, your desires etc. Only then you should set your goals.

You also need to judge the quality and depth of your motivation. This is quite important, because it is directly related to your commitment. There are times when your heart is not in your work. Such distraction can affect your work. So, slow down and think what you really want to do at that moment. Clarity of thoughts can help you move forward.

You also need to make an accurate and honest assessment of your abilities. This will prevent you from under-estimating or over-estimating your skills and guide you to set attainable and appropriate goals.

Another way of setting realistic goals is to analyze the short and long term objectives, keeping in mind your beliefs, values and strengths. Remember that goals are flexible; they can change according to circumstances. They also need to be measurable. You must keep these points in mind while setting your goals.

Your personal circumstances are equally important. For instance, you may want to be a pilot but can’t become one because your eyesight is not good enough. However, this should not discourage you. You should reassess your goals, and motivate yourself to set a fresh goal.

You will surely need to cross several hurdles, some planned, but most unplanned. You cannot overcome these hurdles without sufficient motivation. Make sure that you plan for these hurdles at the time of setting your goals.

Popularity: 18% [?]

10 Occasions That Call For An Apology

Although some apologies can be made in person or over the phone, most need to be written, and written immediately. Procrastination turns writing an apology into a major task and may mean that we have to apologize twice, once for the infraction and once for the delay.

Because we all make mistakes, people are usually less bothered by your errors than you are; write your apology with dignity and self-respect. The following are occasions that call for apologies:

1. Belated response to a gift, favor, invitation, or major event in someone’s life.

2. Business errors: incorrect information given, order mix-ups, contract misunderstandings, merchandise that is defective, dangerous, ineffective, damaged, delayed, or that is missing parts, instructions, or warranties.

3. Children’s misbehavior, damage to property or pet.

4. Damage to another’s property.

5. Employee problems: rudeness, ineptness, dishonesty, poor service, unsatisfactory work.

6. Failure to keep an appointment, deadline, shipping date, payment schedule, or promise.

7. Insulting or insensitive comments.

8. Personal errors: giving someone’s name and phone number to a third party without permission, forgetting to include someone in an invitation, betraying a secret.

9. Pets that bite, bark, damage property, or are otherwise nuisances.

10. Tactless, inappropriate, rude, or drunken behavior.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Warning: Read This Before Eating Red Peppers!

- Red pepper should not be given to children under age 2. For older children, start with a small amount and use more if necessary. People over 65 often suffer a loss of taste bud and skin-nerve sensitivity.

- Chopping red peppers may burn the fingertips. In addition, red pepper does not wash off the hands easily. Even with careful washing, the pungent herb may remain on the fingertips for hours and cause severe eye pain if contaminated fingers touch the eyes.

- One French study shows that red pepper boosts resistance to infection. Some bacteria-fighting spices can be sprinkled on cuts to help prevent infection, but DO NOT do this with red pepper. It burns terribly!

- Some research suggests the herb’s stems and leaves stimulate uterine contractions in animals. Pregnant women and those wishing to conceive should stick to the powdered fruits.

- If red pepper causes minor discomforts, such as stomach upset, diarrhea, or burning during bowel movements, use less or stop using it. Let your doctor know if you experience unpleasant effects or if the symptoms for which the herb is being used do not improve significantly in two weeks.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Learn Why Blame Causes You To Feel Worse Than The People You Are Angry At

When we think about a hurt, our body reacts as if it is in danger and activates what is known as the fight-or-flight response. The body releases chemicals whose purpose is to prepare us to respond to danger through fighting back or running away. The chemicals released are known as stress chemicals. They are designed to make us uncomfortable so that we will do something to get ourselves out of danger.

These stress chemicals get our attention by causing physical changes. They cause the heart to speed up and blood vessels to constrict. This raises blood pressure. Our liver dumps cholesterol into our bloodstream so that it can gum up our heart in case we lose too much blood. The stress chemicals alter our digestion and cause our muscles to tighten. Our breathing becomes shallower, and our senses are heightened to cope with the problem at hand. Digestion ceases, and blood flow is diverted to the center of the body. We feel jumpy and uncomfortable.

So Who Is To Blame For These Uncomfortable Physical Feelings?

Most of us blame this unpleasant body response on the person who we are playing the blame game in a way that can keep us trapped and helpless for a long time. The physical stress we feel when we mull over an abandonment or deception is the reason many of us struggle so hard to give up our grievances.

For example, for years my wife felt tense every time she thought about her mother, whom she had problems with growing up. Every time she imagined her unloving parent she felt her stomach tighten and would often get a headache. And each time she felt a physical symptom, she experienced another wave of anger toward her mother for ruining her life. She blamed her mother for her current discomfort, for activating her fight-or-flight response. This normal physical response, and the blame you have for the person who hurt you, cements the grievance that began when you took too personally something you did not like.

Alternatively, we may never again want to see the person who hurt us. We may try never to think of them again. While these responses to taking something too personally are common, they are primarily the result of the stress chemicals running through our body. They are primitive responses and usually not the result of careful or productive thinking.

Our problem is the choices these stress chemicals offer us are inadequate in helping to regain control of our emotional life. Simply put, these are poor choices. They do not help us face charged emotional situations with people close to us or come to grips with painful life experiences or deal with the subtleties of intimate relationship.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Tailoring A Self-Help Program For Our Children

The principles for overcoming social anxiety and low self-esteem you read about for adults also apply to young people. Your job as a parent is to provide support, motivate your child to work on overcoming social anxiety, provide your child with opportunities for exposure, and offer your child encouragement and praise when he or she succeeds. Below are 3 ways you can implement an exposure plan with your child:

1. Be a coach. When an opportunity presents itself for your child to say something to another child or an adult, encourage him to speak up. For example, when you order food at a restaurant, ask your son to order for himself. (Let him practice with you beforehand—you can role-play that you’re the waiter or the counter attendant.) If he whispers, ask him to speak up. If he refuses, ask him to order dessert for the family later in the meal. If he can’t do it the first time, don’t get angry. Praise him for trying, and let him know that you’re going to keep on urging him to try. (Don’t withhold the dessert! The reward is for effort, not for success!) Let your child know you’re not going to give up, and you’re sure he’ll be able to do it soon. Rewards can help motivate many children to tackle tough situations. If possible, tie the reward directly to the behavior: “Tina, you may have a cookie if you go up to the counter, order it, and pay for it yourself.” For older children, the reward can be a fun activity that itself promotes further interaction with peers: “Erin, if you invite a friend over on Saturday evening, we’ll get pizza and a video” With time, your child will keep on doing these things not just for the material payoff, but because it feels good to be confident!

2. Be a matchmaker. Provide opportunities for your child to interact socially with other children. Sometimes socially anxious children don’t want to play with other kids, and they can come up with some very creative excuses. Let your child know that having friends is an important part of life. Make it a priority. Invite another child to tag along with you and your daughter, and encourage her to make conversation, to express her feelings, and to make the other child feel welcome. Encourage your daughter to invite her peers to hang out at your house.

3. Set an example. Teach your child how to handle social situations. The best way to do this is not by telling, but by showing. And the best way to show is to let your child see you do things regularly in your everyday life. Let your child see you look someone in the eye, firmly shake hands, and say “Pleased to meet you.” It can also be useful to talk out loud (to yourself, but knowing your child is listening) about how to approach a challenging social situation. For example, while getting dressed to go out to a business dinner, you might say, “I’m going to be meeting some new people tonight. I’ll be sure to say hi to everyone, even if I don’t remember all the names later.”

Popularity: 12% [?]

What tools should I use to help me master time management skills?

What is time management and how can it help you get more done in less time? This question has many different answers to many different people because time management is not a type of cookie-cutter course that everyone can use for their lives. With each individual comes different needs. And although you can learn time management skills and techniques, you must approach it with your own style, your own goals, your own visions, and your own unique motivations.

In today’s article we will discuss motivation and how it can help you manage your time better so that you can get more work done, spend more time with your family and friends, and have a better sense of accomplishment in your life.

The term motivation itself contains “motive”. And without a clear understanding of your motive (why exactly you are doing what you are doing) then you will be forever lost in the cycle of doing more and gaining less. You must be absolutely clear about the reasons “why” you are undertaking all of the tasks in your life. This is not limited to your work and career choices, but your personal and family choices as well. You can never effectively manage your time if you are not motivated enough to do more and at faster speeds. And this motivation comes from understanding the underlying reasons why you are doing whatever it is you are doing in the first place.

Take out a pen and a piece of paper and start this little time management mental exercise. Simply ask yourself the following questions and write your answers down:

Why do you work as much as you do? Why are you involved in the tasks that you are involved in today? Why do you work so hard? What is it that you are trying to achieve? And what is the fastest and most simple route to get you from where you are now to where you want to go?

Now that you have started to put your thoughts on paper, your next step is to start gaining the additional knowledge and skills that you will need to perform your best and with the greatest productivity. Your goal is become an expert in time management. And in order to become an expert in any subject, all you need to do is read and study the principles outlined within that material each and every day.

Read books on time management for thirty minutes each morning and again at night. Listen to time management audio tapes and CDs in your car while driving and at home in your spare time. And back up all that you see and hear with action. Back up your studies of time management with practice and I promise you that you will start to see and feel changes not only in managing our time, but in all areas of your life as well.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Learn About The Herb “Gotu kola”

Gotu kola (Centella asiatica), or centella is an herbaceous perennial plant native to India, China, Indonesia, Australia, the South Pacific, Madagascar, and southern and middle Africa. This slender, creeping plant flourishes in and around water. Although it grows best in damp, swampy areas, centella is often observed growing along stone walls or other rocky, sunny areas at elevations of approximately 2,000 feet in India and Ceylon.

The smooth-surfaced leaves, found on furrowed petioles, can reach a width of 3 centimeters and a length of 15 centimeters. The leaf margin may be smooth or slightly lobed. The fruit, formed throughout the growing season, is approximately 5 millimeters long with seven to nine ribs and a curved, strongly thickened pericarp. Historically, the entire plant is used medicinally, with harvesting occurring at any time during the year.

Centella has been used extensively as a medicine, both internally and externally, by the people of Java and other islands of Indonesia. The medicinal use of centella in India and Indonesia centered around its ability to heal wounds and relieve leprosy.

In the 19th century, centella and its extracts were incorporated into the Indian’s list of medicine, where in addition to being recommended for wound healing, it was recommended in the treatment of skin conditions such as leprosy, lupus, varicose ulcers, eczema, and psoriasis. It was also used to treat diarrhea, fever, amenorrhea, and diseases of the female genitourinary tract.

Many confuse gotu kola with kola nuts. However, gotu kola is not related to the kola nut, nor does it contain any caffeine. Centella asiatica exerts remarkable wound-healing activity. In China, the leaves are prescribed for turbid leukorrhea and toxic fevers, while the shoots are used for boils and fevers. The plant is also used in the treatment of fractures, contusions, strains, and snakebites. Centella was also used in China to delay senescence.

Considered as one of the reported “miracle elixirs of life,” gotu kola’s reputation as a promoter of longevity stems from the report of Chinese herbalist, Li Ching Yun, who’s legend states that he reportedly lived 256 years. Li Ching Yun’s longevity was supposedly a result of his regular use of an herbal mixture chiefly composed of gotu kola.

Centella asiatica was first accepted as a drug in France in the 1880s. Since then, extracts of this herb have been used all over the world in the treatment of many of the same conditions listed above.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Seeking To Be Recognized

The feeling of being unimportant can be so devastating that some people take drastic measures to make sure that their presence is recognized. If we think back to when we were in elementary school, we can remember the class clown who called attention to himself by overt misbehavior. His being singled out by the teacher and being sent to the principal’s office was a desperate attempt to be noticed.

These actions are not restricted to young people. If we feel distressed because of a negative self-concept and think that other people do not appreciate us, we may seek recognition in an effort to convince ourselves as well as everyone else that we are respectable people and are not as bad as we are afraid we may be. Therefore, we may push for recognition in different ways.

When inviting people to a family gathering, the hostess may say, “I better get Aunt Susie’s invitation out first. If we somehow forget her, or if she thinks anyone else was invited before her, we will never hear the end of it.” Aunt Susie demands recognition “or else,” which is hardly likely to elicit much affection. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be recognized, but when we feel good about ourselves we assume that our presence is noticed at least by some people. If we feel inferior, we may feel that our presence is not noted at all, or if it is, it is not noted enough by a sufficient number of people.

Right after a public speech, there is often a question-and-answer period. Many people ask pertinent questions of the speaker, but every once in a while someone from the audience delivers a speech. There is little doubt that this person wants to make everyone in the audience aware that he is there and has something to say, even though it may have nothing to do with the subject of the lecture. The folly of such an action is that the inappropriateness of this person’s comments may cause people in the audience to feel that he just wants attention. This is an example of how some maneuvers to escape the negative self-concept feelings backfire. This person, who desperately seeks to impress others, actually causes them to think poorly of him.

Demanding recognition in order to overcome feelings of shame and low self-concept is as futile as trying to fill a bottomless pit. Just as the drug addict may require ever-increasing doses of narcotics to get high, the person who seeks recognition is likely to be chronically dissatisfied and constantly demand greater attention.

Popularity: 10% [?]

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